What type of “Flight Instructor” are you? Will your children fly?
“Helicopter”
Otherwise known as a "helicopter parent", you hover closely above your children, cringing at the thought of watching them fail, get hurt, or be disappointed in life. You come swooping in at the slightest trial to make sure things are handled...by you.
While you show great love and concern for your child, this style of parenting may prevent children from learning to fend for themselves and keep them tethered to the nest.
Suggested readings:
Turtles and Trails: A 3-stage Approach to the Empty-Nest Years
“Airborne”
The airborne instructor gives children a parachute and makes them jump headlong into adulthood like a paratrooper. You've given them life lessons that should carry them through on their own from here on out.
Your hands-off approach may foster loads of independence, but also might give the impression that you no longer care for your child. The lack of love or tenderness may weaken the parent-child bond in future years.
Suggested Reading:
“Co-pilot”
You have thoroughly instructed your child and they know how to fly. But as long as you are acting as co-pilot, ready to take over the controls at the first sign of trouble, there may be resistance. Your eagerness to jump in and take over, while attempting to be helpful, may feel like meddling or a lack of trust in the eyes of your child.
While the co-pilot approach is sometimes necessary in the early years of transition to adulthood, a co-pilot that lingers too long can delay independence and damage long-term relationships.
Suggested Readings:
Dear Daughter, May I Dance at Your Recital?
“Feathered Friend”
Like the birds, our children learn to fly best through their own trial and error. They will falter and they may flop, but they WILL learn to fly. Healthy parent relationships are those that coax the fledglings out of the nest, provide what they need for strength (food, shelter, and financial help for a time), teach them to find others they can rely on, and set a good example.
When your fledglings learn to fly, you'll be soaring right beside them as their best friend!