From Home-Improvement to Self-Improvement: Five Lessons I've Learned
Are there areas of our lives that could use a shake-up, a makeover, or a complete remodel?
Here are 5 quick lessons for self-improvement.
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This story was updated HERE on 10/28/23.
Where’s the can opener?
Do you know what happened to my cutting boards?
Can we just order out tonight?
These are a few of the questions we’ve heard around our house lately. After 24 years in our home, the time to remodel our kitchen has arrived. I’m not sad to say goodbye to my permanently stained sink and faucet that sprays in every direction. I’m eager to have hinges replaced so that I can stop trying to close that cabinet door that pops back open every time. The new countertops and painted cabinets will do away with the worn out and damaged ones. And the new appliances won’t have cracked and broken pieces.
Although this process has been easier than building our house back in 1997, when I was pregnant with child #3 and had no Houzz or Pinterest to consult for my design questions, it’s still been a ton of work!
The project has also been an eye-opener into my routines and habits. When I reach for a glass and the cabinet is gone, I realize how these habits have become second nature. When, for the 14th time, I open the silverware drawer and find it empty, I know I’ve become a robot of sorts.
It makes me wonder how many other actions throughout my day are being dictated by habit? Are there other areas of my life that could use a shake-up, a makeover, or a complete remodel?
There are many areas to be sure, but for now, let’s focus on three big ones. I know my physical self is always in need of improvement. My relationships could use a tuneup as well. And my spiritual life is constantly being redesigned.
The process of “self-improvement” is similar to my current “home-improvement”. The steps taken and struggles encountered in making over any aspect of our lives can be an all-consuming journey. But if we follow through with the project, the end result is so satisfying!
Let’s take a quick look at five lessons for remodeling our homes and re-molding ourselves.
Dream and plan.
We would never rip out the old sink and broken faucet in our kitchen without first having a vision of what we wanted the final outcome to be. For this project we planned things out by spending time with a designer and browsing the internet to get ideas. We called in other professionals for estimates. Knowing what we could afford and when the project would take place helped us determine what we could handle.
Same goes for other areas of our lives. Changes will come more easily when we have envisioned the outcome, consulted the experts (e.g. self-help books, health coaches, therapists, pastors or spiritual directors), and formulated a plan. Fitness clubs and weight loss plans can cost money, but free options are available as well. Will a book help our relationships, or do we need an intensive marriage retreat or family counseling? Spiritual growth requires a time commitment as well. If we intend to reach our goals, our resources must fit into our budget of time and money. With a plan in place, it’s time to dive in!
Out with the old.
The more duplicate utensils, unused gadgets, and broken baskets I purged before this project started, the better off I was. Facebook Marketplace and Goodwill became regular go-tos for me as I released the items that no longer brought me joy. As I emptied the old pantry I discovered expired peanuts, stale crackers, and 4-year-old cake mixes that I tossed into the trash.
When it comes to our health, relationships, and spiritual growth, are we carrying extra baggage? Are there false messages from our past we must shake off? Are there temptations that keep us from moving forward or excuses that we need to throw in the dumpster? What daily habits can we purge to allow room for the new ones? “Atomic Habits” by James Clear, a book I need to revisit myself, helps with both breaking bad habits and starting good ones.
Revealing the dirt and chaos.
When’s the last time you pulled your stove or fridge away from the wall? Based on the number of dust bunnies, crumbs, and other “goodies” we found, I’d guess we hadn’t moved ours in years. I also discovered that when our cabinet doors were removed for painting, my kitchen storage areas were a mess. I learned that the “open concept” kitchen is not for me!
If we are going to improve our lives, there’s a good chance we might find some dirt and chaos along the way. Letting ourselves become vulnerable with a trusted friend or advisor is often the best way to make the changes we need. “Coming clean” about the filth we’ve swept under the rug will move us toward the freedom to change.
Transitions are Hard.
Even though I’m excited about the promise of a new kitchen, getting there hasn’t been easy. First, we moved the pantry out. Then we moved it back in. The next week we cleared off the countertops. When the painter came for the doors and drawers, we found boxes for everything in the drawers. Now, the cabinets will be completely emptied. On top of all the shuffling, there have been numerous texts and emails with questions, unexpected issues, and decisions to be made.
Let’s face it. It’s so much easier to live with the status quo than to take on a life-improvement project. But is it really? If the status quo makes you short of breath every time you climb the stairs, that’s not an easy life. If the way things are results in arguments, dysfunctional lifestyles, or general unhappiness, you’re not living on Easy Street. And if your daily practices don’t include time with God, you won’t have the presence of the Holy Spirit to draw strength from in times of trouble. The transition might be hard, but the end result will improve your life!
(My kitchen: before, during, and…after! )
In with the new. (And continuing the work.)
It may take some time, but we will have a finished, new kitchen! I look forward to completing this project! I dream of peaceful evenings with no more workers traipsing in and out the door. Does that mean the work will be done? Hardly. The new kitchen must be maintained. Putting away clutter, wiping down counters and sinks, throwing out expired foods in the pantry, cleaning the fridge...the work of maintaining a clean, organized, and well-functioning kitchen, whether old or new, takes daily attention.
In the same way, the work of self-improvement is also never finished. I wish losing weight was “one and done,” but in my life it’s been a constant battle of yo-yo dieting and fat jeans vs. skinny jeans. Over the years, my husband and I have attended various marriage retreats and parenting classes. Even so, those relationships need regular tending. And on our spiritual journeys, we can never stop in our efforts to grow closer to God. There are always new ways to deepen our relationship with him.
I know I have plenty of work to do, not only on my kitchen, but on myself as well! What about you? What areas of your life need a shake-up, a makeover, or a remodel? Let’s get that project started!
Need more help in the areas of self-improvement mentioned above? Check out any of these previous posts:
Health:
Goals: What Riding and Writing Have Taught Me, Part 1
Goals: What Riding and Writing Have Taught Me, Part 2
Relationships:
Keeping the Spark Alive: Five Secrets to Empty Nest Love
Sisters: Knitting Love and Comfort in Good Times and Bad
Adult Children Living at Home: 6 Best Tips for Parents
Spiritual Journey:
Pay Attention! Don’t Miss the Good Stuff
Life Under the Permacloud: In Search of the Light
Permission to Retreat: Finding Rest in A Work-Centered World
Pencil Marks on the Doorframe and Other Signs of Growth