Sisters: Knitting Love and Comfort through Good Times and Bad

Writing, as it turns out, is hard to do when surrounded by one’s sisters. 

I have no choice but to step into another room to find a comfy, quiet couch. As I insert my AirPods and turn on my “concentration” playlist, I notice the pile of yarn and handmade blankets next to me…a comforting sight. I can still hear the chatter and occasional bursts of laughter coming from the dining room table. 

It’s “Sister Weekend!”

***

I grew up with three sisters. Two older, one younger. My one and only brother fell between me and my youngest sister. It’s astounding he survived his growing up years, with four sisters and the raging hormones that accompanied them. 

But survive he did. We all did. Somehow we got through those tumultuous years of backbiting, nitpicking, hair pulling and sister-scratching. Of mean-spirited jealousness and criticizing cut-downs.

Now, as adults with our own daughters and sons, we find ourselves the best of friends. At least three or four times a year, the four sisters and my sister-in-law gather together at the home of whichever sister’s birthday it is. We spend the weekend crafting and eating and talking. 

Over twenty years ago, when scrapbooking was all the rage, we started this practice. Our cars packed with paper, cutters, pages, books, photos, pens, glitter, stickers, etc…not to mention a cooler full of food and a couple changes of clothes; we traveled the two or so hours to each others’ homes. With nursing infants and diaper bags, we moved in. We were thrilled when our husbands agreed to watch the older kids for the weekend.

Our tradition has evolved. Now we bring whatever “craft” we are currently into. Knitting, card-making, crocheting, digital scrapbooking, sewing, writing. Our supply needs have decreased (thank goodness!) and our home demands have diminished as well. Our adult daughters and daughters-in-law often join us now, sometimes with their own little ones in tow. 

We craft until we’re tired. We eat until we’re overfilled. We talk until the wee hours of the night. 

We share our stories. Our latest joys: children’s accomplishments, home decorating projects, retirement plans, vacation photos. And we share our pain: our kids’ struggles, marriage woes, health concerns, and worries over our aging parents. 

We are sisters. And sisters care for one another. They laugh together. They listen and advise. They hold each other up when life gets hard.

But is it always rosy? Of course not! We’re still sisters, after all. And sisters have history. All those years of backbiting come back to bite us now and then. Jealousy can still raise its ugly green head. And cut-downs, though cushioned in more socially-appropriate verbiage, are still cut-downs. 

PC: Little Women (2019) directed by Greta Gerwig

Sisterhood is complicated. It’s messy. Take, for example, Jo and Amy March of “Little Women.” The recent movie adaptation by Greta Gerwig portrays their complicated relationship beautifully. Meg and Jo, the older two sisters, leave Amy out of a social event, shunning her because she isn’t old enough. In Amy’s jealous rage, she finds a way to hurt Jo that cuts her to the core. (No spoilers here! You’ll have to watch the movie to find out how.) Although the crime is eventually forgiven, the sting of that incident affects their relationship and follows them into adulthood. 

And yet, when they lose someone very precious to both of them, they realize their petty jealousies and nitpicking are not worth the cost of the relationship they have as sisters. In one poignant scene, after Amy returns home with surprising and potentially upsetting news for Jo, she takes Jo aside, asking if Jo is angry with her. Concern is written all over her face. 

Jo replies, “Life is too short to be angry at one’s sister.” And they embrace. (Cue the quiet sobs from moviegoers.)

After seeing the movie with my own two daughters, that line was quoted when I asked which parts of the movie they liked best. It warmed my heart. 

To say my daughters have had a rough relationship at times, would be an understatement. They are as different as oil and water. But we, and by “we” I mean “they,” continue to work on it. Since they were little girls fighting over Barbie dolls and closet space and bed covers, I’ve told them that they are each other’s best friend. I didn’t say “you will be best friends someday” or “you need to work on being best friends.” I stated it as a fact: “You ARE best friends.” 

“Life is too short to be angry with one’s sister.” - Jo March

I don’t think they believed me for years. And it’s still a struggle at times. But I think they are beginning to see it, just as I did with my own sisters as we came of age. At some point, they will put their differences aside and their past behind them, and like the March girls, they’ll realize that “life is too short to be angry with one’s sister.” 

***

This weekend is the first Sister Weekend of 2020. I’m working on my writing. But since talking and writing don’t always mesh, I also brought my knitting.

When I learned to knit almost ten years ago, I was taught there are two basic stitches: knits and purls. If you look at a row of stitches closely you can see the difference. The “knits” are flat and smooth. The “purls” are bumps. 

Once you learn the two basic stitches, knit and purl, you can change them up with stitch variations, as well as different colors and textures of yarn. The diversity brings your creation to life.

“Each of us, spinning our own yarns, intertwine into a work of timeless art, a blanket of love and comfort.”

And so it is with sisterhood. The history we have–the days we spent growing up together and the days we continue to spend, growing old together–are knit into our own unique “Sister Blanket.” Along the way, there are many bumps–arguments, differences, and frustrations. There are also peaceful times–playing, talking, creating, and laughing together. We add new textures through sisters- and daughters-in-law. For those without sisters by blood or by marriage, close-knit girlfriends may suffice. As we mesh our varied interests and life choices, each Sister Blanket becomes a unique masterpiece.

With holes, dropped stitches, and little knots that need repair, our blanket is far from perfect. But those imperfections can’t diminish the warmth we experience when we’re together.

Each of us, spinning our own yarns, intertwine into a work of timeless art, a blanket of love and comfort.

***

The chatter from the other room is distracting me. (What am I missing out on?) And my feet are getting cold. Maybe I’ll throw one of those handmade blankets over my chilly toes. Better yet, I think I’ll throw on my slippers and go back to the dining room table. My sisters are calling!