Empty Nest, Interrupted
Warmer temperatures have finally arrived in southwest Michigan. That, combined with an inexplicable (ha!) urge to get out of the house has resulted in a few invigorating bike rides this week. Although I often ride with my husband, today I ride solo, looking forward to the peace and quiet; a time to meditate and rejuvenate.
Since I am expecting solitude, imagine my surprise when my ride is interrupted twice in the first five minutes by socializing (at a distance, of course)! Less than a half-mile from home I come upon my best friend-neighbor and her dear mother who are out for a walk. I unclip my pedals and put on the brakes.
Our neighbors’ household size has grown from three to six during this pandemic, with the addition of “Grandma” as well as two college students. We chat for several minutes about our new normal and the uncertain state of things before going our separate ways.
Another mile down the road, I see a young runner coming toward me. Immediately, I recognize the face of a sweet young girl from our church who, like my daughters, is now completing her college semester at home.
Their family, like ours and our neighbors’, has suddenly grown by two college students. We exchange greetings and “check-ins,” telling of each others’ home situations, and end with the now-typical, “It’s a crazy time, isn’t it?” before saying goodbye.
Interruptions. They are typically not welcome. As I ride along, I’m often frustrated by traffic I have to wait for, noisy trucks that interrupt my riding music, or the need to stop and blow my nose. Worse yet, are falls like those both my husband and I have experienced. Some result in skinned knees and bruises; others in torn shoulders and shattered elbows that interrupt our riding life with surgeries and long recovery times that follow.
It’s true, those interruptions are most unwelcome.
But then there are interruptions like those I have today. Opportunities for face-to-face social contact with good friends are more than welcome anytime, but especially during this time of social distancing. These bright spots along my ride make my heart smile and bring comfort in my solitude.
***
COVID-19 is quite possibly the biggest interruption any of us have seen in our lifetimes.
Just as we all began coasting through 2020, we were forced to stop what we were doing. COVID-19 is quite possibly the biggest interruption any of us have seen in our lifetimes. It’s an interruption on a worldwide scale that has brought life as we knew it to a halt. For many, it’s an unwelcome and painful disruption resulting in sadness, loss, anxiety, and fear. Even when it’s over, there will be a long road to recovery.
As empty-nesters, we’ve also been required to give up the lives we had grown accustomed to. Gone are the days of simple meals for two, lower grocery bills, quiet evenings, empty guest rooms and uncluttered hallways. We now run the dishwasher once or twice a day instead of every other, find an empty coffee pot by mid-morning, and have given up our “assigned” chairs at the dinner table.
Our empty nest has been interrupted.
Our college kids’ lives have also been rudely interrupted by this pandemic. They are dealing with online classes, had to bid an early farewell to friends, and in some cases, were forced to cut short amazing study-abroad experiences. They’ve had to adjust to living under Mom and Dad’s watchful eyes, a loss of freedom and new expectations.
So far, we’ve found ways to minimize the disruption of this interruption.
We’ve rearranged furniture to allow each of us our own “workspace” within the house. We’ve doled out household responsibilities of cooking, dinner cleanup, and decluttering, being careful not to demand too much. We’ve respected each others’ need for quiet time and focus, but daily come together in conversation around coffee, tea, and food.
We are learning to practice empathy.
Remembering that none of us has chosen this situation helps. Knowing that each of us is grieving losses also helps. We are learning to practice empathy.
There have been a few sharp words and hurt feelings, but realizing how long this quarantine might last has spurred us on to better communication, asking for (and giving) forgiveness, and imparting grace where needed. I saw my girls take not one, but two walks together (their idea, not mine!) the day after a mild tiff over what constituted healthy eating; another indication we’re all determined to make this work.
Yes, we’ve given up freedoms we had come to enjoy. But in return, we’ve been given bonus time together. In the face of fear and anxiety, we are comforted to be close as a family. During this time of social minimalism, our lives are sprinkled with more conversation and laughter than usual. What could be a dull and drab emptiness, has instead been colored with the vibrancy of youth.
***
Pedaling a few miles farther down the road, I notice the sun disappear behind gray clouds. The road, my tires, and the cement trail I am on are also a bleak shade of gray.
But then, pedaling past a charcoal-brick retaining wall separating the road from a nearby neighborhood, I catch a glimpse of color.
Bright colors! Red, blue, yellow, pink and green; a rainbow of hues interrupting the dullness that surrounds me. Here on display are rocks painted with vivid, uplifting designs and messages, created by children who have been quarantined in their homes.
These kids have found a way to create and share some happiness despite tough times. To bring cheer to an otherwise gloomy wall.
The brilliant stones make my heart smile and bring comfort in my solitude. The joy they bring, the blessings they bestow, are indeed, a most welcome interruption.
